Since the South Asia Earthquake/Tsunami, news about anything but had been hard to find. But thankfully, the return to normalcy prevailed: people forgot about the destructive force that tore up much of South Asia as soon as they heard Jennifer Aniston & Brad Pitt were separating. Thankfully, we Americans have a wonderful sense of what news is important and what is really crucial to our daily existence. Our fickleness as a culture astounds me, by the way.
Much of what we absorb, especially but not exclusively since 9/11, is highly filtered to insure we as Americans don't read anything too upsetting or too sensitive; more often than not, what is news is determined by a handful of people in this country who have a lot of money, a lot of power, big egos and asses to match. If anyone reading this thinks Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather and Peter Jennings have a say in what they report, think again -- they're puppets that can be removed and replaced faster than you can say "Rupert Murdoch has a small weenie." News reporters are puppets and unless their evidence is hard and their facts are iron-clad and triple-checked, they go with the flow, which is a pleasant euphemism for covering their asses. While Dan Rather's sudden departure isn't really news, it should raise an eyebrow, especially considering what we've been reading this week, ie the firings and "departures" of the people involved with CBS's reporting of President Bush's National Guard service. Shit rolls downhill, and the farther down the hill you are, the more you get hit.
Having said all that, I think the top news story over the past week has to be the very visible, very humorous spat between Kristen Hine, 32, and Carmella DeCesare, 22. The reason why it's "news" is because Hine used to date, and DeCesare currently dates, Jeff Garcia, who used to play quarterback for the San Francisco 49'ers and who currently plays quarterback for the, um, Cleveland Browns. What makes it more interesting is the fact that, apparently, DeCesare, who also happens to be the Playboy Playmate of The Year, swung (using a stripper pole at the oh-so-appropriately-named Tramp nightclub), where the altercation occurred, and kicked Hine, in the face. Apparently, according to Garcia himself, Hine approached Garcia and DeCesare kicked someone else, but in self-defense. Okeee. Add to this the debate/controversy which brewed for a week or two early in the NFL season that Terrel Owens, a former teammate of Garcia's on the 49'ers, suggested that Garcia is homosexual, and you have a bona-fide keeper of a news story.
The article, first reported on Fox goes into more detail, ie how Hine and DeCesare apparently shared insults, and then Hine apparently poured a drink on DeCesare, etc. But what really floors me is that Garcia should be extremely pleased; not only isn't he gay, but he's got the Playboy Playmate (who isn't exactly rough on the eyes) kicking (literally) other suitors aside. Knowing he's dating a Playboy Playmate doesn't necessarily mean he's not gay; but when she's kicking other women -- in the face -- to keep them away from him, you have to assume he's straighter than a Republican. I can just envision the locker-room discussions that will ensue:
"So, Jeff, have a good off-season?"
"Yeah, I'm dating the Playboy Playmate of the Year."
"No shit!"
"Yeah, and not only that, she kicked the shit out of an ex-girlfriend of mine over the summer by swinging on a stripper pole at Tramp."
"No shit!"
"Yeah, and she's got a great rack, too!"
"No shit!"
"Too bad I'm gay."
"Um, lemme go get a towel."
If you have nothing better to do, the URL for the above-referenced story is: http://msn.foxsports.com/story/3316654
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