New Year's Wrap-Up

So in answering some of your questions about why I haven't described New Year's ad nauseum, I'll leave it at this: it was one of the most interesting I've experienced in awhile.

As anticipated, this was a very different kind of celebration, as I alluded over the past few weeks. Thanksgiving is probably one of the most genuine holidays there are -- unlike Christmas, Chanookah and birthdays, Hallmark doesn't lick its chops thinking about how it will make its millions on Thanksgiving. And as much as I usually look forward to the Thanksgiving holiday, this year was more of a milestone. It was a relief we'd all -- all four of us -- made it to that point, and relief isn't the most pleasant or relaxing way to spend a holiday, even if the holiday is all about gratitude and being thankful for what you have in your life. And this New Year's was very much about relief, gratitude and amazement. So, essentially, this, much like this past Thanksgiving, was a very different experience for my family and I.

My father's come a long, long way, almost all the way back. I speak to him several times a day, each time for a combination of personal and business reasons, but he's definitely back to being himself. What's strange is that each time I see him it's a combination of emotions: relief he's okay, happiness (mostly because he's goofing off and making us laugh) and that strange return to normalcy, ie sweeping everything past and almost forgetting where we've all been for the past four months. Obviously none of us will forget the tail end of 2004, although we would all love to, especially me. What I find most satisfying is that I still look at him and remember all the shit that's gone on, mostly because of my own stupidity, and I am no longer angry or upset -- I'm past all that -- and now I'm just happy that he's with us and that the past four months are just that -- in the past. It could have been forever -- in more ways than one -- and I thank the Big Man each day that it wasn't and isn't.

As for New Year's, we spent it together in a semi-subdued sorta way. And it wound down in a way befitting the last four months would dictate -- no, not in the hospital, and no, not in jail :-) Let's just say that it was memorable, it was long-lasting and it was really great to know my other half was by my side the whole time. Made me feel more complete, more like myself, yet another thing that had been lacking for far too long. That has really impressed me about my other half: her personality is so vibrant and so alive, something else to which I had grown increasingly unused to in my recent past, and yet the reason why we work so well is because she allows me to be me, I allow her to be her, and together, our individual personalities combine to make more than the sum of the parts. The bottom line is that it just works perfectly, and that's something which makes me happy I woke up today and makes me look forward to waking up tomorrow; not to mention, of course, something which makes me look forward to going to bed tonight :-)

So 2004 went out with a bang and the usual fan-fare: noise, kisses, friends, a bunch of loudness in our ears, and some sickness on the tail end. But hot-damn, it was worth it -- it was nice "surviving" this year, despite the bumps and the bruises, and being here is yet another thanksgiving day to be glad where I am, where those I love are, and hope for the future and where we will all be.

Basically, I find myself in the position of not merely relishing the chance to bury the past but also chomping at the bit to speed things along to get to where I want to be, not just with my other half but in life. As with the trifecta before, I know now that I can accomplish anything.

One down, one to go.