MovieQuote: Austin Powers

Dr. Evil, attending a self-help focus group with his son (played by Seth Green) reveals some biographical background for the class (and for teacher Carrie Fisher):

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy... the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.

When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds... when I was 12, I had my scrotum shaved ritualistically by a Zoroastrian named Vilma. There's nothing like a shorn scrotum, quite breathtaking, really.