Dating An Independent Woman

"Hi, my name's Boogie and I'm dating a strong, independent woman."

Due to a symphony of circumstances that were largely beyond my control, I happened upon another blog called "Overworked & Underf*cked" (http://offkilter.blogspot.com/) and I came across the below criteria for discerning and dating an independent woman. Since I find myself sharing my life with such a creature, I read, processed and enjoyed what I had absorbed. Needless to say, I am comfortable knowing I am happily (and successfully) dating a strong, independent woman, and (ahem) I didn't need the advice of how to make such a relationship work. But it's nice to know I'm on the right page, and nice to know, as a result, that my other half and I are on the same page. Without further ado, here it is:

Some guys seem to be confused about what it means to date a strong, independent woman. These women are rare (and from what I'm told, even more so in OC), but they do exist, and it's unfortunate that many men claim to want one and then when they do get the opportunity to date one, they end up at a loss as to how to maintain the relationship.

For starters, you need to know how to identify one of these women when you come across her. She is a strong independant woman if she meets most of these criteria:

• She doesn't create drama. When drama does occur, she cleans it up instead of prolonging it.
• She doesn't spend 3 hours before leaving the house on a daily basis, and when needed, can be ready to face the world in under 5 minutes.
• She's strong in the majority of these areas, and when pushed, has a strength in all of them; emotional maturity, street smarts, decision-making, logical reasoning and athletic ability.
• She is able to form her own opinions on subjects and not wait for your opinion and then agree with it.
• She has her own goals, and has a plan for how to reach them on her own.
  

If you're still reading, this woman must have matched most of the criteria above; if so, keep reading, this may help you not screw it up.

1. Yes, we're competitive. We enjoy pushing ourselves to our personal limits. That doesn't mean we want to compete against you. We're not trying to beat you, we're trying to improve us. Be impressed, not threatened. Let's face it, you're a guy which means you're naturally going to be stronger, bigger, taller, etc. We get it, so should you.
2. We love guys that are good with their hands. Odds are, we're pretty handy but if you can do it better you'll earn our admiration. If you can wire the stereo, fix the plumbing, wrench on your car, play a guitar or build something we will be impressed (and quite possibly turned on) even if you only do these things once a year.
3. Even if we don't want to do it, we can figure out how to change our oil, change a flat tire, and build our furniture so you should be able to as well.
4. Just because we CAN be one of the guys doesn't mean we always are. In fact, we love being able to go from your buddy in sweats by day to the hot girl you can't keep your hands off of by night. Unlike your buddies, don't tease us when we get dressed up. If we look good, tell us. Don't poke fun at the make up, heels or skirt if you really like the way we look.
5. If we can dress up and look good for you, it would be great if you know how to tie a tie, dude.
6. Stong confident women love sex, and aren't afraid to initiate sex. But, if you really want to turn us on, take charge in the bedroom and show us your dominant side, you won't be disappointed!
7. We're comfortable enough in our own skin that we can look at other women and think they are hot. We may even share these thoughts with you. But please note, if every time we comment on a woman you mention a 3some, we'll stop talking to you about it. We get guys have these thoughts, sometimes a little internal editing isn't a bad thing.
8. Re: #7 If the hot woman is a relative, NEVER comment on the 3some thing. Ever.
9. Did I mention we like sex? This means we usually enjoy some if not all of the following; toys, getting ourselves off, porn, and variety (positions, locations, you name it) Yep, that's right boys, if we like to push ourselves out of the bedroom, we also like to do it in the bedroom.
10. By the way, don't be threatened by number 9. Women love toys and getting off as much as men enjoy their own hand jobs, it's a release not a replacement for you.
11. We're going to have our own hobbies and interests, some may be more extreme than your tastes. Don't make us feel bad about them simply because they aren't your thing. That makes us feel awkward, and shows you're insecure. It's a turn off and incredibly transparent.
12. We realize that sometimes we seem so strong it doesn't seem like we need you. You need to trust that if we've let you into our lives we obviously do.
13. No matter how strong we are, we still cry. Hold us when we do.
14. When something horrible happens that's beyond our control to fix, odds are it will be beyond yours too, we know this, and it's OK. Just hold us and be there for us til it gets better. We don't expect you to fix it.
15. Hold our hand, put your arm around our shoulder, kiss our forehead, pat our butt, kiss our neck. Yes, we are your bud, but we also want to be reminded that we are your girl.
16. Praise us. Yeah, with the guys it's always smack talk, and sure, we can throw down with the best of them, but the occasional compliment letting us know you're proud of us is better than flowers and chocolate.
17. Don't get lazy because we aren't demanding. It's not usually in our nature to gripe, whine or moan about a lack of romantic gestures, so sometimes you guys forget that we still need them.