Tick Tock

"The big hand is on the four, the little hand is on the two, and it's time for the six o'clock report."
-George Carlin

The NHL is just about done. There's a newsflash for ya. According to the newest reports (most of which are bullshit, by the way), the Union Head left Friday's meeting with League reps without so much as an idea of what he would say was positive that came from said meeting, other than they were able to stay in a room for the better part of a day and didn't kill one another. That's not progress, that's a divorce waiting to happen. Bob Goodenow, the Players' Association Representative, isn't the reason this is happening, but he sure is playing a large part therein. Let the damn players vote, and then the League will tweak the cap number (ie the max amount each team can spend thereunder) and let's get back on the ice.

(Ed. Note: No hockey? When is the hockey season, anyway? Eh...who cares. No cheerleaders, I'm changing channels. When is that Trading Spaces show on, anyway?)

The Patriots won the Super Bowl. Big fucking deal. They were picked by everyone who could differentiate a football from a golf ball (unless you're from South Philly or South Jersey, or an inmate at Rahway State Prison, which is pretty much the same thing). How many days before pitchers and catchers report?

(Ed. Note: Bob Kraft is the spawn of Satan, and everyone knows he sold his soul [and one of his testicles] to win five Super Bowls before he is unceremoniously killed in a bizarre whoopee-cushion prank gone horribly, horribly wrong. Watch, my friends...just wait and see.)

27 Iraqis died in twin suicide attacks in a hospital in Baghdad. Check me if I'm wrong, but the whole point of a suicide bombing is to put people in the hospital, if not the morgue. If you have to have more than one suicide bomber go to the hospital to finish the job, then (sic) your suicide bombers are clearly not maximizing their death potential. Either the Zionist, Capitalist enemy is growing strong, or the suicide bombers are just not committed enough to the cause. Shoot one and perhaps the rest will step up their effort.

(Ed. Note: Sarcasm is a part of the message here. Get a grip.)

George Bush (aka Mini-Me) offered up a 2.57 trillion budget today. His budget cuts subsidies to farmers, health care for the poor and veterans and lopped off some environmental and educational spending.

But when will I get my check for $300 from the government? Send it here, Georgy, send it here.

(Ed. Note: Cutting veterans' benefits in wartime is a dumb move, even for a schmuck like Dubya. Someone tell Cheney to spank the leader of the free world and have Dubya go stand in the corner.)

In other news...

Proof that there is far too much stupidity in this world:
http://www.local6.com/news/4171852/detail.html?subid=22100428&qs=1;bp=t

One final note:

When did televising greasy, visor-wearing plumbers playing poker become en vogue? It seems like, more and more, the only things safe to watch on TV is Iron Chef America and Desperate Housewives, but the truth is, without the promise of a glimpse of David Caruso's bare ass, no one's going to watch either show for any length of time. If David Caruso is a guest judge on the former, I'm settin' up the VCR and leaving the house.

For good.