Sunday, September 21, 2008

The Long(view) and Short

It's been almost a week since I've swung by these pages in an attempt to chronicle the last few days' activity, and having put this update off for this long has muddied some of my memories of the last week, unfortunately.

I can confirm that Kaia and I had a lot of fun running around and chilling out; seeing friends for drinks at the Hudson the other night (Tuesday, maybe); watching the Yankees season -- and the life of Yankee Stadium -- slowly, painfully, trickle away; keep up with the shitloads of work approaching my desk; and dealing with all sorts of miscellaneous happenings between.

Also, we ended up hanging out Friday night, just the two of us at home, rather than go out and blast off the night before Kaia headed back to San Fran. It felt a bit off not going to Balthazar or Mercer or York for Kaia's last night as a non NYC resident, because we've been doing this for so long, and this was the last "non-resident" visit she'll be making here. In the past, we've always done up the last night as it means a 45- or 60-day break, but this time neither of us really had much interest in doing anything but hanging out and spending time together. The fact that we got into bed early -- 11ish, for us, is early -- was great as we were able to hang out and just relax rather than schedule out every minute and cram as much activity into our days and nights as possible.

Of course, the biggest aspect of that is that yesterday evening she headed to JFK to catch a flight to San Fran. We have a pretty good idea as to which apartment she'll be taking, and the only issues are the date and the technicalities (ie the application process). Since the lease will be provided by a company with whom I have a business association (I'm in NYC real estate -- duh), we're not concerned by anything except whether she's thrilled with the apartment and whether she can afford the rent. And even those two items are relatively non-issues; just tying up loose ends before she starts disassembling her place and getting it ready to be relocated is, for both of us, both unusual and exciting, and while it's an end to her residency in the only city in which she's ever lived, it's a new beginning, both for her in NYC and for us for the rest of our lives. So even though it's just a lease and a move, we both know it's far more than that, as we knew our first time meeting in person could be just another swing and a miss or could be it.

In any event, as she was completing her packing once we got back to my place, it was, as per usual, bittersweet for us both for her to get back to San Fran. For her, when she heads back to San Fran after almost a month in NYC, it's like she's leaving home rather than returning to it. And for me, it's a sad, empty apartment without her nearby. When she heads out on her miscellanous excursions during her stays, me having an hour or two isn't a problem; it's not a co-dependency issue I'm addressing here. But when I know she won't be somewhere inside my place when I get up or come in from doing errands is as shitty a feeling as knowing she is there is a good feeling.

Either way, I think this visit -- and her return to San Fran -- is as momentous as was her first trip to New York. We both know this is it before we, essentially, pull the trigger on an apartment. I say we, although we won't be living together per se, because this is our first real step forward together. And the signficance thereof isn't lost on either of us; actually, I think we're both anxiously excited about the coming months.

Speaking of which, it was kind of strange that, as she was packing Friday night and Saturday afternoon to leave, the weather suddenly got much colder. It went from being in the mid/high 70's to the low 60's, and I suppose on some level it's very appropriate. I'm wondering how long it will be after she moves in before we'll have our first snow, and thinking about the fact that we'll have to go out and frolic like little kids again.

I think that's what this past week, and the past month, have reminded me about her: she reminds me, and makes me feel like, the kid I used to be, and the smiles we share are almost omnipresent. That's probably why we're as sad when she leaves to hit San Fran as we are. And then we're back together -- here or there -- and all is right again.

That's it, in a nutshell -- in both long- and short-term guise. I've had an increasingly difficult time segregating those two things, so if I'm mixing tenses, pardon me now or critique me later.

Onward and upward.

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