A Thanksgiving To Remember and Forget

A day or two late, true, but what other national holiday inspires good will, comfort, contentment, happiness and that "holiday feel" better than Thanksgiving? Christmas, if you're Jewish, is a day for Chinese food and movies; New Year's Eve/Day is for alcohol, hangovers and resolutions and Memorial and Labor Day are for kicking back. Thanksgiving, however, is truly a unique and worthwhile holiday.

This year, I spent the day with my family, including my grandmother, my mom, my sister and my father. Foodwise, which is part of why I love the holiday, this wasn't anything special -- we had turkey and the other "stuff" but for the most part it wasn't much of anything to remember. I have turkey on other days of the year, so this year's Thanksgiving didn't do anything for me that way.

We were all together, which is a plus, especially given what we've been through this year. Having my father around -- despite him not being at 100% -- was a great thing, given that I wasn't sure he would be here with us. Check the archives for more detail on this if you're so inclined, but odds are if you've made it this far you know the deal and can imagine that the last several months have not been easy, to say the least.

So why was this year's Thanksgiving so mediocre? For a variety of reasons: the food was a non-issue, we weren't at home, and while we were able to spend time with my father, since he's still recovering it wasn't quite normal. And since I worked the day after -- and since he had to go to the hospital on that same day -- it's almost been a non-holiday. And on top of that, wanting to spend time with my other half -- and her with her family across the country -- left me feeling very disjointed and out of place.

So the back-and-forth, out-of-place feeling still persists...while I know how much I have for which to be thankful -- my father's (hopefully improving) health, my family, a wonderful woman who never fails to make me smile daily -- I also know what I want and that to which I am looking forward. So whether this is a memorable Thanksgiving for good reasons, or whether it turns out to be one which I want to forget as soon as possible, it's a holiday which marks a point in time, for me, that reminds me and teaches me what the holiday is all about. It's not just about giving thanks for what we have, but to what we can look forward as sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, husbands, wives, lovers and friends for the coming year(s).

I know that being thankful is part of this holiday, so I'll unabashedly admit that I am thankful for where I am in life this day, and where those who mean the most to me are as well. But I also am looking forward to the day when I can exhale, breathe a sigh of relief, and smile thankfully and know in my heart that there is nothing more in life I need or require. That day might not come, but I'm thankful most of all that I still believe, perhaps someday soon, it will indeed come. And I am thankful that I will know in my heart when that day does arrive that I will be thankful and truly humbled in my gratitude and humility.

For those of you who have been there with my family and with me throughout the ordeal of the past three months, I can only say thank you and wish you and your family, friends and those closest to you the kind of happiness that I one day hope to again experience. And to my other half, she who has found a way to make me smile, to give me hope and to make me content during those days of unhappiness, futility and hopelessness, there are no words that I can offer to convey my gratitude, except to say that I hope I can give to you if and when you need me as much as you have to me. The trifecta isn't quite complete, but through the dark, difficult days of the past, and the unknown of the future, I am thankful that you are have been, will be, and are with me.

I wish you all the best Thanksgiving and the best of everything.

-B-