Epilogue....Sort Of

August 13th...her father called my parents and left a voicemail for them (while he knew they'd be at work) telling them he and his wife had many concerns and, therefore, were unwilling to make a wedding and were against my fiancee and I marrying. He spoke for about two minutes, suggesting he and his wife had spent lots of time agreeing on the matter, and basically wrapped with "This is our last word on this matter." Then, he said "Have a nice weekend, bye bye." And hung up.

Subsequently, and here goes: I get a phone call from the psycho telling me "Stop harassing my daughter or you'll have to deal with me" (and a hang-up) and I let my fiancee know her father is now out of control and I want my ring back. I can deal with her parents disapproving; but threats to me and my family, no way.

She was very upset and managed to calm me down and I decided not to take back my ring. So....I told my father and my uncle (who had driven me to her apartment to originally pick up my things and to insure, if the psychotic manic-depressive showed up, there wouldn't be a physical altercation), to go home and that my fiancee (sort of) would get me home, wherever I needed to be.

The next day we had a decent day...I still was in limbo -- I love this woman but her family (not just her father but her mother too) exhibit seriously unstable behavior. I was worried about my personal safety going there last Friday night; she admitted to me that she was worried because her parents had her keys as well. Sick, but true. Saturday afternoon comes and goes...we agree her father is sick (clinically) and that he needs help and we will try counseling. Saturday evening, I arrive home and waiting for me is a message from said future father-in-law threatening me, threatening my father and my family. I call my fiancee and tell her I can't continue in this relationship, then I call my parents. I play the message for my fiancee, at her request, twice. She calls her parents, screaming mad, and her father DENIES making the call. She lets him know she heard it with her own ears. I visit the NYPD to file a police report on Sunday against her father. Sunday afternoon, my mother tells me my father is feeling shitty and I decided to just let everyone be. Turns out, we found out Monday morning, my father had a heart attack and is now in the hospital in NYC and we don't know if he will make it. My former fiancee has been supportive regarding my father but otherwise has proven to me that I made the right decision to separate from her and her fucked up family once and for all. I just wish I'd seen this all coming and was secure enough to get out while I could have (without anyone being hurt). I feel badly for my fiancee -- she's allowed her controlling parents to trample and ruin her life (including alcohol abuse, suicidal impulses, eating disorders, insecurity, indecision, depression and mood swings) and I think, in retrospect, she's looked to me to save her from all these factors (namely, her fucked-up, incompetent parents) and I just can't do it. I want to make her well -- not just for she and I to be together, but so she can be a happy person and one day have a normal relationship without them destroying it like they have done everything else they can. I know it's no one's fault (other than my father's diet, lack of exercise and genetics) that my dad's in a hospital bed. Odds are good he'll make it through this. But every morning when I wake up I look in the mirror and I'm reminded that it was my (poor) decision to stay with this woman and her fucked-up parents that might have caused this. I've got so many feelings going through me -- guilt, sadness, fear (of losing my father), loneliness -- I actually called my doctor and asked him for a sedative to make sure I'd live through all of this. I know all of my emotions are relatively normal -- considering the degree of lunacy surrounding all these events -- but I've relegated myself to getting my family back on track first and looking for a woman second. I haven't gotten rid of the ring yet, but I've begun purging myself of everything that reminded me of my former fiancee. I know it's not her fault that any of this is happening (aside from her total denial regarding her parents' overinvolvement and -- frankly -- disgustingly abusive personas, not only to outsiders but to her as well). I just hope that, somehow, this all concludes with my father being in good (or at least decent) health, my family returning to a solid, integrated unit; my fiancee commencing some intense therapy to either rid herself of or redefining her family's control over her; and my meeting someone who I love, respect, trust, believe in and with whom I can't wait to spend an eternity. If I had to settle, I'd pick my Dad's health. The rest are really meaningless; but I figured I'd add those others in there as well.