It's so hot... (How Hot Is It)

...that I spied a naked homeless guy dancing in the fountains at Columbus Circle -- and was actually jealous of him.

...that Associated Supermarket on 57th Street shut down all its lights and all power to non-refrigerated equipment, effectively inviting its customers to hit the pavement.

...that tourists were buying cold pretzels from hot-dog carts.

...that I actually considered acing my dress shirt and tie, cutting the legs off my slacks and visiting City agencies sporting my first pair of homemade Kenneth Cole "shorts."

The thing is, I don't hate hot weather; as long as I'm not carrying 20 pounds of paperwork in my bag and I don't have to be rushing from one place to another, it's all good. On days like this, give me a convertible, a 100-mile stretch of open road, a selection of pre-loaded tunes and some tasty beverages, and I'm good -- as long as I can pick Kaia up before I start on Mile 1.

Problem is, the last couple days have been, essentially, me running around in this intense heat and humidity with loads on my plate. Being that today is the second day of a new filing period, I've been humming along with everything in the background, and sho'nuff, the first two days of said filing period have been the hottest of the calendar year. Two weeks ago, California was baking like copper-enamel figurines in a kiln; now it's our turn.

About five or six years ago, a friend of mine from right outside NYC relocated -- temporarily -- to San Jose for a quasi-lateral job offer. He was out there three months when the rolling blackouts began, and while the idea had been tossed back and forth in the public spectrum for awhile, he didn't believe it would actually happen. Well -- sho'nuff -- it did. He had a townhouse filled, like my apartment, with enough electronic equipment to power NORAD for a week. And while he had battery backup equipment in place, everything went down at once and he ended up with a room filled with dead computer equipment. By the time everything was replaced, the damage checked in at around $25k. I would bust his balls every so often thereafter, reminding him "Hey, got a spare surge suppressor around, my water-pik got fried."

At least in connection with this particular incident, he rarely appreciated my sense of humor.

Needless to say, karma leaves no stone unturned, and now that we're in the midst of a heat emergency in NYC, and Queens and Staten Island have already experienced significant power outages, I'm debating what my next move should be. I won't have a problem living if the power should go out for a day or two; I live on the ground floor of a six-floor building so I will have access to running water (cold -- cold is good), and I won't have to climb or descend a multitude of stairs in stifling humidity. Plus, if there is a blackout at some point soon, it will give me a chance to reconnect with the inner me -- in other words, it'll force me to defrost my freezer.

And maybe, just maybe, I'll slip on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt and go join that naked homeless guy in the fountain.