I’ve found, by experience for sure and by observation as well, that it doesn’t take much to be happy. When we’re children, an early Saturday morning watching cartoons or a bowl of sugary cereal with the family was all it took to keep me smiling. As I got older, the happiness factor became a lot more…complicated.
But the end-all, be-all of happiness – true happiness – isn’t about an item, a purchase or some intangible acquisition that sates our mercurial, material desires. And without being obtuse, there’s no one thing that any one of us can point to that is “It” – but the hardest thing, I’ve come to realize, about being happy isn’t about the happiness itself but actually figuring out what it is that we want that will instill that intrinsic sense of happiness – satisfaction, accomplishment/achievement, and arrival, all wrapped up in one endorphin rush of happiness.
At this time of year, we all – hopefully – have something for which we’re thankful, something which makes us happy and appreciative. Despite the fact my Aunt is in the hospital recovering from a somewhat serious illness, she’s on the mend and we’ll re-do Thanksgiving as a family in January. I’m certainly thankful for that. I’m also thankful that Kaia will soon be a full-time NYC resident. And I’m thankful my family – near, far, immediate, distant – is doing well and everyone is living and enjoying life now and for the future. I’m also thankful our office relocation went smoothly and largely without incident, that nothing exploded or blew up and the new digs are an improvement on the old.
But inasmuch as I am genuinely pleased over these details, I think the crux of my happiness – as opposed to my gratitude – isn’t any of these items per se but instead that I am thankful, and I have lots for which to be thankful. On some level this is all semantic nonsense for sure, but while one could opine that he was thankful a large animal missed kicking him in the genitalia, being thankful in and of itself isn’t, for me, the reason why I enjoy Thanksgiving as much as I do. Of course the food is a key player in the overall euphoria that many of us cite when we declare our love for this particular holiday. It’s just that, for me at least, what really comes together is that – much like on a Father’s Day or a Mother’s Day or any special day meant to celebrate those we care so much about – I’m happy I have as much as I do for which to be thankful.
We tend to get wrapped up in minutiae of our lives, which seemingly become busier each day and each year – myself included – and part of that minutiae is the pursuit of useless, short-lived crap with which we adorn our lives like clutter in a shrinking room. For that I know I am guilty far more often than I’d care to admit.
But inevitably, while some religions – eg the Jewish New Year – are about seeking others’ forgiveness and giving that same forgiveness to others, what I think is interesting about Thanksgiving is it is a cultural, rather than religious, endeavor whose sole directive is not to forgive or focus on past indiscretions or problems or issues or disappointments but simply on people and things we have in our lives for which we’re appreciative.
While each Thanksgiving invariably offers us the chance to briefly surrender the appreciation of our lives and instead flip the Nissan that just cut us off in traffic the bird, or to chastise Uncle Nathan for breaking wind in the living room with all the guests downwind, the short and long of it – for better or worse – is that it’s a time for us to exercise some restraint and be thankful for what we have rather than focus on that which we don’t.
Best wishes to you and your families for a genuinely happy Thanksgiving and for a happy, healthy year.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Friday, October 01, 2010
Wrong and Right
The name “Tyler Clementi” didn’t mean much to anyone until September 22d, when it was revealed that the Rutgers student, as the result of a prank performed by his roommate and fellow Rutger students Dharun Ravi and Ravi’s friend Molly Wei, committed suicide by jumping off the GW Bridge.
The story has been highly publicized on Facebook and all types of news outlets. Sadly, Clementi’s last communication was via Facebook status update: “jumping off the gw bridge sorry."
Inasmuch as this is a sad, tragic unfolding of events, and this was certainly a despicable act these two imbeciles committed, this more than not was not about technology. This was, essentially, two people treating another person like crap for their own amusement. Whether the victim was gay or asian or jewish or a little person or mentally handicapped, the fact is he was a victim. The two people who decided to play a prank on him most likely didn’t mean for him to kill himself – even if that was the unfortunate result – and at any given time in each of our lives, we have – I am certain – said or done something that has offended or otherwise insulted someone else. Even without malice, it’s more than likely that anyone reading this has – intentionally or otherwise, by commission or omission, done something that has embarrassed or otherwise made another person feel badly. Sometimes these actions aren’t so much intentional as they are not unintentional between “frenemies” – the very fact that term exists suggests that we as individuals sometime do things to “friends” that could be perceived as not particularly friendly behavior.
I am not attempting to minimize what Ravi and Wei did – because it was repulsive and inconsiderate and disgusting. Assuming some basic facts about the situation, one could surmise that Tyler Clementi was a gay man who was not openly so. Apparently his roommate was an immature, idiotic asshole who, rather than respect whatever Clementi’s sexual orientation was, he decided to embarrass him by planting a hidden camera in the room and invade Clementi’s privacy by broadcasting the private goings-on between his roommate and a male friend of his. It sort of reminds me of the end of American Pie where the main character of the film, Jim, opts to secretly broadcast his interlude with Nadia, a girl from class – and it goes horribly wrong (as anyone who has seen the film knows).
I don’t think there was the type of malice that these two idiots believed would inspire the kind of desperation in Clementi that would result in him committing suicide; however, it was obviously something which was particularly inconsiderate, demeaning, invasive, disrespectful and disgusting. And actionable.
While some people acknowledge that it was just a prank that went horribly wrong, others believe this was a hate crime. I’m not sure if it was indeed a hate crime – I think these two morons decided to take advantage of someone and they did. Would they have done so if he was African-American? Asian? Indian? Who knows. Did they know he would be so devastated by what they did that he would commit suicide? Who knows?
What I do know is their actions caused someone’s death. Whether that is murder, a hate crime or simply an unintentional act of manslaughter, I can’t say. What I do believe, however, regardless, is that they both belong in jail and, hopefully, will never forget what their callousness caused. One of their attorneys acknowledged that what they did was awful, but deep down they’re really "good people."
Bullshit, counsellor. Good people don’t poke fun at other people because of who they are. That’s something you either know or don't know. It's not learned – not at college or anywhere else – and if you don’t know better, you never will. Let’s hope they find out first-hand – in prison – what it’s like to be treated like shit by someone else for sport.
Maybe then – maybe – they’ll learn.
The story has been highly publicized on Facebook and all types of news outlets. Sadly, Clementi’s last communication was via Facebook status update: “jumping off the gw bridge sorry."
Inasmuch as this is a sad, tragic unfolding of events, and this was certainly a despicable act these two imbeciles committed, this more than not was not about technology. This was, essentially, two people treating another person like crap for their own amusement. Whether the victim was gay or asian or jewish or a little person or mentally handicapped, the fact is he was a victim. The two people who decided to play a prank on him most likely didn’t mean for him to kill himself – even if that was the unfortunate result – and at any given time in each of our lives, we have – I am certain – said or done something that has offended or otherwise insulted someone else. Even without malice, it’s more than likely that anyone reading this has – intentionally or otherwise, by commission or omission, done something that has embarrassed or otherwise made another person feel badly. Sometimes these actions aren’t so much intentional as they are not unintentional between “frenemies” – the very fact that term exists suggests that we as individuals sometime do things to “friends” that could be perceived as not particularly friendly behavior.
I am not attempting to minimize what Ravi and Wei did – because it was repulsive and inconsiderate and disgusting. Assuming some basic facts about the situation, one could surmise that Tyler Clementi was a gay man who was not openly so. Apparently his roommate was an immature, idiotic asshole who, rather than respect whatever Clementi’s sexual orientation was, he decided to embarrass him by planting a hidden camera in the room and invade Clementi’s privacy by broadcasting the private goings-on between his roommate and a male friend of his. It sort of reminds me of the end of American Pie where the main character of the film, Jim, opts to secretly broadcast his interlude with Nadia, a girl from class – and it goes horribly wrong (as anyone who has seen the film knows).
I don’t think there was the type of malice that these two idiots believed would inspire the kind of desperation in Clementi that would result in him committing suicide; however, it was obviously something which was particularly inconsiderate, demeaning, invasive, disrespectful and disgusting. And actionable.
While some people acknowledge that it was just a prank that went horribly wrong, others believe this was a hate crime. I’m not sure if it was indeed a hate crime – I think these two morons decided to take advantage of someone and they did. Would they have done so if he was African-American? Asian? Indian? Who knows. Did they know he would be so devastated by what they did that he would commit suicide? Who knows?
What I do know is their actions caused someone’s death. Whether that is murder, a hate crime or simply an unintentional act of manslaughter, I can’t say. What I do believe, however, regardless, is that they both belong in jail and, hopefully, will never forget what their callousness caused. One of their attorneys acknowledged that what they did was awful, but deep down they’re really "good people."
Bullshit, counsellor. Good people don’t poke fun at other people because of who they are. That’s something you either know or don't know. It's not learned – not at college or anywhere else – and if you don’t know better, you never will. Let’s hope they find out first-hand – in prison – what it’s like to be treated like shit by someone else for sport.
Maybe then – maybe – they’ll learn.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
The New Year...Again
As Americans, most of us typically take stock of our lives with the passage of each year. That is why the "New Year's Resolution" follows the sins of the triad of holidays: Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's Eve. Presumably, that is also why the three biggest resolutions people typically attempt -- mostly in futility -- are to lose weight, stop smoking and cut down/stop drinking. It would figure that the three biggest vices excoriated by society are those people celebrate and very soon thereafter attempt to shed ASAP.
However, the Jewish New Year is very different. I've addressed this topic elsewhere among these pages so without revisiting my observations on an annual basis, the dichotomy of the holiday is both celebration and reverence -- to the latter concept, reverence of the fact we have a limited time on Earth and hope that we are inscribed in the book of Life for the coming year, eg we hope we survive to the next new year.
It's at once both a celebration and a somber time for reflection and of hope. I don't speak Hebrew fluently -- I can read it but I can't really translate it, save for a few words. So invariably while I participate in a conservative service, my mind tends to focus on hoping that those I love -- family, friends, etc. -- are around a year from now. I won't fire off the litany of people and things I wish for in the coming year, but all of them revolve around health and happiness and none are about me per se. It's at once selfless and selfish; but for my limited spiritual scope, I believe that I'm optimistic, realistic and genuinely thankful for all that I have in my life: family, friends, Kaia, etc.
However, at the same time, being that 9/11 has fallen in our laps almost simultaneously with the duality of the celebration of the Jewish New Year, there's an added somber tone as well as one that's more clinical and less spiritual.
The tone and the significance of 9/11 should not need any introduction or clarification; however, with respect to the more clinical aspect thereof, I refer to the proposed burning of the Quran by a Florida church on the eve of 9/11.
My first reaction to this planned event, which was announced sometime at least six weeks ago, didn't shock me inasmuch as it made me wonder how someone claiming to be pious thought this would be appropriate. Using the rationale that Muslims -- extreme, radical muslims -- deem it appropriate to burn the US flag and to attack Americans both in foreign lands and on US soil, Pastor Terry Jones felt this was a justified -- and apparently intelligent -- move.
Obviously this decision -- before the entire world pressured the Church to cancel the proposed event -- was foolish in many ways. Most Americans at one time or another have felt rage and anger over the events that transpired on and since 9/11. And while most of us have since understood the difference between those followers of Islam who are genuinely good people as opposed to those "extremists" who have perverted the religion to advocate mass murder and suicide as a means to salvation, it's understandable that some people feel about Islam the way they do.
In tandem with this issue is the "9/11 Mosque" issue, which has similarly polarized the entire nation. While the 9/11 Mosque is actually a cultural and religious center located near Ground Zero and not on the actual site, on some level it too is a bit sensitive, especially for those who lost family on 9/11 and perhaps regard the site with a different, more intense sense of longing and loss than do many of us who didn't lose anything beyond our innocence as a nation.
When I first began reading about the 9/11 Mosque I was, overall, opposed to its creation. I felt that it was beyond insensitive and repugnant building a mosque so close to the location where Islam -- in its most corrupt, perverted form -- killed 3,000 people. However, I've changed my stance on the issue -- not because I feel differently about Islam but because the people who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks were no more Muslim than the people who perpetrated the bombing in Oklahoma City were patriots. Would anyone object to a memorial to the Constitution at the former site of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building?
The proposed burning of the Quran, however, would have mirrored something the perpetrators of the attack would do; in fact, given the same circumstances, they would simply killed any and every person who ascribed to the beliefs contained in that text, rather than simply burning the texts. Carrying out that burning would have marked a dark and repulsive chapter in our history. One terrible, disgusting event on 9/11 is enough.
Put another way, we already have to endure -- based on law and the insanity of some peoples' beliefs -- Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church (WBC) picketing funerals. We can either come about resolutions with debate and discussion, or we can watch as Americans revile their soldiers and the people who comprise this nation. If we accede to the wishes of those who mean us harm, we can choose the latter path. Personally, however, I am thankful the Quran burning was canceled -- and not due to a proposed relocation of a Mosque or any other number of factors, but simple respect of others beliefs, despite the fact they do not coincide with those of Pastor Jones.
Is it an embarrassment that this event nearly took place? Yes. Is it of consequence that there were riots in several places, including Afghanistan and Pakistan? Yes. Is it a sad reminder that there are people filled with hate not only in those nations but here, in America, on American soil? Yes.
And in a year from now, will these problems magically disappear, especially if I hope for that result among the other new years' hopes/prayers I utter over the next week?
Not likely.
While none of us can predict the past, the one thing that is likely is these problems and issues never will disappear. Beyond that, your guess is as good as mine.
That, and I hope we all enjoy a happy, healthy, prosperous -- and safe -- new year.
However, the Jewish New Year is very different. I've addressed this topic elsewhere among these pages so without revisiting my observations on an annual basis, the dichotomy of the holiday is both celebration and reverence -- to the latter concept, reverence of the fact we have a limited time on Earth and hope that we are inscribed in the book of Life for the coming year, eg we hope we survive to the next new year.
It's at once both a celebration and a somber time for reflection and of hope. I don't speak Hebrew fluently -- I can read it but I can't really translate it, save for a few words. So invariably while I participate in a conservative service, my mind tends to focus on hoping that those I love -- family, friends, etc. -- are around a year from now. I won't fire off the litany of people and things I wish for in the coming year, but all of them revolve around health and happiness and none are about me per se. It's at once selfless and selfish; but for my limited spiritual scope, I believe that I'm optimistic, realistic and genuinely thankful for all that I have in my life: family, friends, Kaia, etc.
However, at the same time, being that 9/11 has fallen in our laps almost simultaneously with the duality of the celebration of the Jewish New Year, there's an added somber tone as well as one that's more clinical and less spiritual.
The tone and the significance of 9/11 should not need any introduction or clarification; however, with respect to the more clinical aspect thereof, I refer to the proposed burning of the Quran by a Florida church on the eve of 9/11.
My first reaction to this planned event, which was announced sometime at least six weeks ago, didn't shock me inasmuch as it made me wonder how someone claiming to be pious thought this would be appropriate. Using the rationale that Muslims -- extreme, radical muslims -- deem it appropriate to burn the US flag and to attack Americans both in foreign lands and on US soil, Pastor Terry Jones felt this was a justified -- and apparently intelligent -- move.
Obviously this decision -- before the entire world pressured the Church to cancel the proposed event -- was foolish in many ways. Most Americans at one time or another have felt rage and anger over the events that transpired on and since 9/11. And while most of us have since understood the difference between those followers of Islam who are genuinely good people as opposed to those "extremists" who have perverted the religion to advocate mass murder and suicide as a means to salvation, it's understandable that some people feel about Islam the way they do.
In tandem with this issue is the "9/11 Mosque" issue, which has similarly polarized the entire nation. While the 9/11 Mosque is actually a cultural and religious center located near Ground Zero and not on the actual site, on some level it too is a bit sensitive, especially for those who lost family on 9/11 and perhaps regard the site with a different, more intense sense of longing and loss than do many of us who didn't lose anything beyond our innocence as a nation.
When I first began reading about the 9/11 Mosque I was, overall, opposed to its creation. I felt that it was beyond insensitive and repugnant building a mosque so close to the location where Islam -- in its most corrupt, perverted form -- killed 3,000 people. However, I've changed my stance on the issue -- not because I feel differently about Islam but because the people who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks were no more Muslim than the people who perpetrated the bombing in Oklahoma City were patriots. Would anyone object to a memorial to the Constitution at the former site of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building?
The proposed burning of the Quran, however, would have mirrored something the perpetrators of the attack would do; in fact, given the same circumstances, they would simply killed any and every person who ascribed to the beliefs contained in that text, rather than simply burning the texts. Carrying out that burning would have marked a dark and repulsive chapter in our history. One terrible, disgusting event on 9/11 is enough.
Put another way, we already have to endure -- based on law and the insanity of some peoples' beliefs -- Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church (WBC) picketing funerals. We can either come about resolutions with debate and discussion, or we can watch as Americans revile their soldiers and the people who comprise this nation. If we accede to the wishes of those who mean us harm, we can choose the latter path. Personally, however, I am thankful the Quran burning was canceled -- and not due to a proposed relocation of a Mosque or any other number of factors, but simple respect of others beliefs, despite the fact they do not coincide with those of Pastor Jones.
Is it an embarrassment that this event nearly took place? Yes. Is it of consequence that there were riots in several places, including Afghanistan and Pakistan? Yes. Is it a sad reminder that there are people filled with hate not only in those nations but here, in America, on American soil? Yes.
And in a year from now, will these problems magically disappear, especially if I hope for that result among the other new years' hopes/prayers I utter over the next week?
Not likely.
While none of us can predict the past, the one thing that is likely is these problems and issues never will disappear. Beyond that, your guess is as good as mine.
That, and I hope we all enjoy a happy, healthy, prosperous -- and safe -- new year.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
In A New York Minute...
If you've ever stood by helplessly and watch a mechanic, repairman or computer consultant work on a pricey beacon of utility within your daily existence -- a car, an appliance or a Quad-Core PC -- you know all too well the possibly sickening feeling you experience when he/she advises you that the object of his/her attention is in need of replacement, not repair.
However, when that consultant is a doctor and is advising you that the object of his/her attention is a human being -- specifically, someone about whom you care a great deal -- it's far worse. Audi keeps producing cars, GE microwaves are plentiful, and if today's PC goes tits up, tomorrow's Newegg shipment brings replacement parts with UPS efficiency.
However, less than a week ago, we were in the dubious, precarious, repugnant position of being on the receiving end of some incredibly distressing news about my grandmother. Without going into specifics, the prognosis we were given -- by a team of phsyician-assistants at Columbia Presbyterian -- was worse than grim and took an indelible toll on us all.
It was only two or three days later that this prognosis was rescinded and we were advised her condition was neither fatal nor permanent. And being that she's 90, anything unusual or different is, usually, not a good thing.
After the initial shock, sadness and disappointment we experienced as a family, both immediate and extended, elapsed and we were left to face the reality of the fact that she's 90 years old and probably won't be celebrating her 150th birthday on this earth -- at least not vertically -- we resigned ourselves to mortality, both hers and each of ours, and proceeded to ensure her situation was addressed expeditiously.
And when the prognosis was soon thereafter rescinded, I suppose the first thing we each experienced, after relief, was a strong interest in the names of the morons who made the ridiculous, irresponsible decision to suggest her time on this Earth was soon drawing to a close.
In hindsight, after enduring that particular experience, one could harbor anger, resentment and sentiments akin to vengeance.
But the truth is, beyond the relief of knowing she's going to be around for quite some time longer -- perhaps long enough to watch Kaia and I exchange vows, etc. -- I can only focus on the relief part and not the anger. I'm not sure if this confirms I'm a happy person, or that my anger management genus is still functioning, or that I'm a wuss. But overall, after the relief and gratitude and that big talk with The Man Upstairs, I think the main emotion I've experienced as of late is acknowledging our time here -- on this planet, I mean -- is too short to be consumed by anger, resentment and anything other than happiness.
I don't see my overwhelmingly pointed sense of sarcasm waning -- if anything, it gets sharper each year as if its been treated to daily whetstone applications -- but at least it's for laughs and not for the jugular...mostly.
So the next time you and/or a loved one happen to be near or visiting Columbia Presbyterian, bring clown outfits and red foam noses for the physician assistants and a big bag of questions. Inasmuch as these people think they know what they're doing, just remember -- they're playing God, but they're not even remotely accurate in their portrayals.
However, when that consultant is a doctor and is advising you that the object of his/her attention is a human being -- specifically, someone about whom you care a great deal -- it's far worse. Audi keeps producing cars, GE microwaves are plentiful, and if today's PC goes tits up, tomorrow's Newegg shipment brings replacement parts with UPS efficiency.
However, less than a week ago, we were in the dubious, precarious, repugnant position of being on the receiving end of some incredibly distressing news about my grandmother. Without going into specifics, the prognosis we were given -- by a team of phsyician-assistants at Columbia Presbyterian -- was worse than grim and took an indelible toll on us all.
It was only two or three days later that this prognosis was rescinded and we were advised her condition was neither fatal nor permanent. And being that she's 90, anything unusual or different is, usually, not a good thing.
After the initial shock, sadness and disappointment we experienced as a family, both immediate and extended, elapsed and we were left to face the reality of the fact that she's 90 years old and probably won't be celebrating her 150th birthday on this earth -- at least not vertically -- we resigned ourselves to mortality, both hers and each of ours, and proceeded to ensure her situation was addressed expeditiously.
And when the prognosis was soon thereafter rescinded, I suppose the first thing we each experienced, after relief, was a strong interest in the names of the morons who made the ridiculous, irresponsible decision to suggest her time on this Earth was soon drawing to a close.
In hindsight, after enduring that particular experience, one could harbor anger, resentment and sentiments akin to vengeance.
But the truth is, beyond the relief of knowing she's going to be around for quite some time longer -- perhaps long enough to watch Kaia and I exchange vows, etc. -- I can only focus on the relief part and not the anger. I'm not sure if this confirms I'm a happy person, or that my anger management genus is still functioning, or that I'm a wuss. But overall, after the relief and gratitude and that big talk with The Man Upstairs, I think the main emotion I've experienced as of late is acknowledging our time here -- on this planet, I mean -- is too short to be consumed by anger, resentment and anything other than happiness.
I don't see my overwhelmingly pointed sense of sarcasm waning -- if anything, it gets sharper each year as if its been treated to daily whetstone applications -- but at least it's for laughs and not for the jugular...mostly.
So the next time you and/or a loved one happen to be near or visiting Columbia Presbyterian, bring clown outfits and red foam noses for the physician assistants and a big bag of questions. Inasmuch as these people think they know what they're doing, just remember -- they're playing God, but they're not even remotely accurate in their portrayals.
Thursday, August 05, 2010
Tomorrow's Another Day
Invariably, we humans are a curious breed; we never fail to see the optimism of tomorrow. While we rarely manage to address everything in our inexplicably busy lives today, we know with certainty that tomorrow the sun will rise in the East and, given our best intentions, we will accomplish what we've needed to address by the time tomorrow's Sun sets in the West.
Except we don't call into question whether we'll be there to witness both of these daily certainties. Of course we will; why would we even question it?
A friend of mine, Neil Dublinsky, seemed to be that type of realistic optimist. He was always quick with a smile or a good word or support, someone who seemed to get it. I hadn't seen him since September when he'd visited New York, but we'd been friends online for more years than I can remember. We'd met through J-Date, he of the moniker Hip Lawyer Man LA and me of the Boogie Booginacious moniker. We'd worked opposite coasts but we'd both benefited by the fact that we just enjoyed interacting with others and enjoying every minute of every day. Once we finally had a chance to hang out in September of last year, I'm glad to note that he was the same generous, easy-going mensch in person that he had always been in the virtual world.
Going through the myriad minutae of Facebook, I suddenly discovered he passed away this past July 25th. "Neil? No, that can't be." Somehow I just couldn't believe it. It didn't seem to make any sense -- I'd spoken to him somewhat recently and he didn't mention he'd been ill and didn't seem to be off in any way. After some digging I'd confirmed what I was hoping I wouldn't. So many people left their thoughts and prayers and sympathies on his Facebook wall, and further prepared and posted entries about their thoughts on Neal's all-too-brief life. I'm still shocked and saddened by the fact that his is a life that is no more. I want to somehow believe that I'm not in reality and that tomorrow will bring news that this was all part of some alternate reality, one that he and I will laugh about the next time we meet up in NYC, whether at Vynl or somewhere uptown or wherever. We might even commiserate about the passing of Captain Lou Albano, the famed pro-wrestling personality we both admired in the 80's. Or just muse over the intricacies and vagaries of life in general.
Unfortunately, I know this won't be so. Of course my thoughts and prayers and sympathy extend to his family and friends, and I'm sure at some point I'll re-visit his wall and read through the additional comments from his other friends equally saddened by this news as am I. And each time I think of his easy-going smile and seeming happiness in this life, I'll hope that -- wherever he is -- he's happy and at peace and sharing his smile and his genuine good nature and generous spirit with whomever he's with.
Rest in peace, Neal...as much as I'm glad to have known you I'm sad that your time here was so brief. One thing I know for sure -- whether yesterday, today or the tomorrow that is yet to come -- you'll be smiling and so will be whomever you're with.
-B-
Except we don't call into question whether we'll be there to witness both of these daily certainties. Of course we will; why would we even question it?
A friend of mine, Neil Dublinsky, seemed to be that type of realistic optimist. He was always quick with a smile or a good word or support, someone who seemed to get it. I hadn't seen him since September when he'd visited New York, but we'd been friends online for more years than I can remember. We'd met through J-Date, he of the moniker Hip Lawyer Man LA and me of the Boogie Booginacious moniker. We'd worked opposite coasts but we'd both benefited by the fact that we just enjoyed interacting with others and enjoying every minute of every day. Once we finally had a chance to hang out in September of last year, I'm glad to note that he was the same generous, easy-going mensch in person that he had always been in the virtual world.
Going through the myriad minutae of Facebook, I suddenly discovered he passed away this past July 25th. "Neil? No, that can't be." Somehow I just couldn't believe it. It didn't seem to make any sense -- I'd spoken to him somewhat recently and he didn't mention he'd been ill and didn't seem to be off in any way. After some digging I'd confirmed what I was hoping I wouldn't. So many people left their thoughts and prayers and sympathies on his Facebook wall, and further prepared and posted entries about their thoughts on Neal's all-too-brief life. I'm still shocked and saddened by the fact that his is a life that is no more. I want to somehow believe that I'm not in reality and that tomorrow will bring news that this was all part of some alternate reality, one that he and I will laugh about the next time we meet up in NYC, whether at Vynl or somewhere uptown or wherever. We might even commiserate about the passing of Captain Lou Albano, the famed pro-wrestling personality we both admired in the 80's. Or just muse over the intricacies and vagaries of life in general.
Unfortunately, I know this won't be so. Of course my thoughts and prayers and sympathy extend to his family and friends, and I'm sure at some point I'll re-visit his wall and read through the additional comments from his other friends equally saddened by this news as am I. And each time I think of his easy-going smile and seeming happiness in this life, I'll hope that -- wherever he is -- he's happy and at peace and sharing his smile and his genuine good nature and generous spirit with whomever he's with.
Rest in peace, Neal...as much as I'm glad to have known you I'm sad that your time here was so brief. One thing I know for sure -- whether yesterday, today or the tomorrow that is yet to come -- you'll be smiling and so will be whomever you're with.
-B-
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
It's Been Awhile...I Think
Despite not having visited these pages in something close to five weeks -- for which I apologize -- I've been a busy Boogie. Between work, the weather and weekend entertainment -- which three categories frequently blend together in part or completely -- it's been increasingly difficult to stop by these pages for introspection and extroversion.
However, in a nutshell, what's been happening is significant -- as per usual -- so I'll try and piece together some of the past five weeks in rapid-fire mode so as not to self-induce sleep and to ensure you, the reader, manages to escape these pages unscathed.
First and foremost, work has been intense. The intensity of which I speak isn't a bad thing, mind you -- I like having a lot of balls in the air, so to speak. The problem is it's increasingly like running up a down escalator (or is that running down an up escalator?). It feels, at least after some days, that more was piled on than I was able to address and resolve.
I 'spose that's relatively worrisome, except that there are days -- and even weeks -- that typically feel like that. But I don't worry as I do catch up. The large majority of my clients are pleased or -- at the very least -- know we're doing all we can to keep their interests front and center. Several of our clients are unhappy with things we're doing for them but not with our service per se. Unfortunately, if only it were as easy as snapping my fingers, I'd have happy clients all over the place. Most of our clients aren't unhappy, but they're under pressure and relying on us to help alleviate that pressure. And we do everything we can to do so. The problem is city bureaucracy isn't as cooperative and eager to get things done as are we. Thankfully we're making progress on our most pressing matters and getting things done. And despite the fact we have many happy clients, it's our resolution of the hardest situations that pleases me the most. Put another way, it's not enough to get the little stuff done; it's knocking the most challenging stuff out of the park that is the most rewarding.
Meanwhile, I've been spending weekends trying to catch up with work and avoiding the weather. NYC in July is typically hot; this summer has been well beyond the simple hot and is approaching scorching. There's nothing wrong with a few days over 90 degrees, especially given the fact that the City dresses down on these extraordinarily hot days. However, the problem is when the subway platforms approach 115 and there are homeless guys violating public indecency codes and the waft of urine and garbage coincide with said public indecency; that makes it hard to justify the age-old "I Love New York" jingle. Further, when walking out of the apartment feels as much a chore in this weather as it does in late, frigid February, the same cabin fever sets in. Friends of mine have houses in Fire Island, the Jersey Shore, the Hamptons and elsewhere; but inasmuch as I'd love to escape the City for a weekend, it's just easier staying put, getting stuff done and moving forward...as long as the A/C is cranked, my PC is humming along without feeling like a full-tilt, illuminated space heater and I don't feel the need to get a cold compress as my first order of business for the day.
Technology-wise, I acquired two very nice items which I'm sure will be completely worthless in a year's time but -- for the time being, anyway -- make me almost as happy as my significant other. The first is the Western Digital media player known as WDTV Live +, and the other is the new Motorola Droid X.
The former is a small box that allows one to hook up a hard drive or computer to an audio/video receiver (or a TV) via HDMI, USB and/or network cable. The bottom line, of course, is that with enough cable and know-how, one can connect a hard drive filled with BluRay movies to a home theater system...which I've done. I've amassed about 600 or so DVD's and I've been loathe to reacquire these films on BluRay, so what I've done is sign up for Netflix -- every couple days they send me two of the 500 or so BluRay films I've got in my queue and I fire up the goodies and enjoy. I actually came across a site that allows one to exchange DVDs for BluRays of the same titles (eg send them The Shining DVD and, $5 later, receive a copy of The Shining on BluRay), so I have about 30 or so BluRays. I also managed to get a copy of a favorite of mine on BluRay from Amazon.com.uk called Who Dares Wins. That film is not high-brow or high quality, but it rocks me each time I watch it. It's about the SAS, so if you enjoy spy thrillers with anti-terrorist, military-esque films that kick ass and pull no punches -- and are willing to fire up a Region 2 disc -- have at it. Or give me an hour's notice and bring a six-pack of Blue Moon Ale.
The nice thing about the combination of the WDTV Live + Netflix is that one can get Netflix On Demand streaming movies. That means that anywhere from 5,000 to 10,000 Netflix films can be viewed at a moment's notice. The whole enterprise is simple, quick and painless, and for $20 a month, I'm planning on cutting my Time Warner premium channels in half.
And the other benefit of this particular device is being able to stream 1080p (HD) media with instant and immense gratification.
The second item in the two-part list, the Droid X, is a fairly significant acquisition not because of what it is but what it isn't.
I've been using Blackberry phones for five or so years now, and while they are relatively vanilla, boring and unsophisticated except when it comes to rock-solid email delivery, they are all of these things. Seeing a complete dearth of interesting Blackberry models and the increasing capability of Android phones, I finally decided to switch lanes and get one. Enter the Android operating system and the Motorola Droid X.
If you have no familiarity with this device, swing by this page at your earliest convenience. It's a relatively basic look at what this thing does. And without mimicking the campaign advertising this bad boy, the truth is these phone do everything. They handle email well -- but not as well as Blackberry -- and they do everything else as well if not better than the iPhone. I'm only really concerned with email delivery and the ability to access data sites, eg the NYC Department of Buildings (you asked). The Blackberry was woefully underpowered with respect to web access so this alternate path makes lots of sense. But much more importantly, this thing does everything else. It helps you find an address and gives you a 3-d navigation option (turn by turn), whether you're on foot, a bicycle, in a car or even underground. It serves as a book reader -- whether you're a Kindle, Nook or free-form ebook reader -- and can stream iTunes playlists fairly simply. It can find and download recipes, news, sports scores and all kinds of other data -- just like the iPhone -- except it does so quickly and without the shortcomings of a built-in battery or the ineptitude of an underpowered AT&T network. And it does all of this stuff incredibly well.
The downside, of course, is that it offers a large learning curve; however, each day I realize I was foolish to wait as long as I did to jump. If my prediction is right, Blackberry will be relegated to a corporate-only third-bit player in the smartphone market within five years if they don't do something -- quickly. And the fact that Android OS-capable phones have increased sales over the past six months at a staggering 350%, I'd be shocked if they don't overtake the entire market, including that of the iPhone.
Yes, I know the iPhone is landing on Verizon's network in January; yes, I know the iPhone has 750 million different apps, whereas there are only about 100,000 apps for the Android OS. And yes, I know the iPhone is simple. However, the Android is awesome, impresses me each day, and coupled with the software I've installed on mine, is really a solid business tool.
In short: part of not fearing technology is mastering it and using it to your advantage. Not so short: you need to know when to make changes so you're ahead of the curve rather than behind it.
Finally, I've found myself spending more and more time reading World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War -- it's relatively trashy and not going to challenge the reputations of Charles Dickens or Ernest Hemingway or Jackie Collins, but it is solid, well-written, entertaining, engaging, uber-creative and a far better distraction for bus commuting than the typical sounds, odors and sights common in public transportation. As should be obvious, I highly recommend it.
I also recommend "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" -- in both book and film form. I am about to begin reading the book, and the film -- which has a foreign-language (Swedish) soundtrack with English subtitles -- was amazing. It's not an easy viewing -- gritty, intense, and somewhat disturbing -- but it's really memorable and worthwhile. The fact it's being refilmed (in English) means that you should probably see the original version now before the same people who green-lighted "Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo" destroy this masterpiece.
More later -- if not sooner -- if you promise to try and stay awake.
-B-
However, in a nutshell, what's been happening is significant -- as per usual -- so I'll try and piece together some of the past five weeks in rapid-fire mode so as not to self-induce sleep and to ensure you, the reader, manages to escape these pages unscathed.
First and foremost, work has been intense. The intensity of which I speak isn't a bad thing, mind you -- I like having a lot of balls in the air, so to speak. The problem is it's increasingly like running up a down escalator (or is that running down an up escalator?). It feels, at least after some days, that more was piled on than I was able to address and resolve.
I 'spose that's relatively worrisome, except that there are days -- and even weeks -- that typically feel like that. But I don't worry as I do catch up. The large majority of my clients are pleased or -- at the very least -- know we're doing all we can to keep their interests front and center. Several of our clients are unhappy with things we're doing for them but not with our service per se. Unfortunately, if only it were as easy as snapping my fingers, I'd have happy clients all over the place. Most of our clients aren't unhappy, but they're under pressure and relying on us to help alleviate that pressure. And we do everything we can to do so. The problem is city bureaucracy isn't as cooperative and eager to get things done as are we. Thankfully we're making progress on our most pressing matters and getting things done. And despite the fact we have many happy clients, it's our resolution of the hardest situations that pleases me the most. Put another way, it's not enough to get the little stuff done; it's knocking the most challenging stuff out of the park that is the most rewarding.
Meanwhile, I've been spending weekends trying to catch up with work and avoiding the weather. NYC in July is typically hot; this summer has been well beyond the simple hot and is approaching scorching. There's nothing wrong with a few days over 90 degrees, especially given the fact that the City dresses down on these extraordinarily hot days. However, the problem is when the subway platforms approach 115 and there are homeless guys violating public indecency codes and the waft of urine and garbage coincide with said public indecency; that makes it hard to justify the age-old "I Love New York" jingle. Further, when walking out of the apartment feels as much a chore in this weather as it does in late, frigid February, the same cabin fever sets in. Friends of mine have houses in Fire Island, the Jersey Shore, the Hamptons and elsewhere; but inasmuch as I'd love to escape the City for a weekend, it's just easier staying put, getting stuff done and moving forward...as long as the A/C is cranked, my PC is humming along without feeling like a full-tilt, illuminated space heater and I don't feel the need to get a cold compress as my first order of business for the day.
Technology-wise, I acquired two very nice items which I'm sure will be completely worthless in a year's time but -- for the time being, anyway -- make me almost as happy as my significant other. The first is the Western Digital media player known as WDTV Live +, and the other is the new Motorola Droid X.
The former is a small box that allows one to hook up a hard drive or computer to an audio/video receiver (or a TV) via HDMI, USB and/or network cable. The bottom line, of course, is that with enough cable and know-how, one can connect a hard drive filled with BluRay movies to a home theater system...which I've done. I've amassed about 600 or so DVD's and I've been loathe to reacquire these films on BluRay, so what I've done is sign up for Netflix -- every couple days they send me two of the 500 or so BluRay films I've got in my queue and I fire up the goodies and enjoy. I actually came across a site that allows one to exchange DVDs for BluRays of the same titles (eg send them The Shining DVD and, $5 later, receive a copy of The Shining on BluRay), so I have about 30 or so BluRays. I also managed to get a copy of a favorite of mine on BluRay from Amazon.com.uk called Who Dares Wins. That film is not high-brow or high quality, but it rocks me each time I watch it. It's about the SAS, so if you enjoy spy thrillers with anti-terrorist, military-esque films that kick ass and pull no punches -- and are willing to fire up a Region 2 disc -- have at it. Or give me an hour's notice and bring a six-pack of Blue Moon Ale.
The nice thing about the combination of the WDTV Live + Netflix is that one can get Netflix On Demand streaming movies. That means that anywhere from 5,000 to 10,000 Netflix films can be viewed at a moment's notice. The whole enterprise is simple, quick and painless, and for $20 a month, I'm planning on cutting my Time Warner premium channels in half.
And the other benefit of this particular device is being able to stream 1080p (HD) media with instant and immense gratification.
The second item in the two-part list, the Droid X, is a fairly significant acquisition not because of what it is but what it isn't.
I've been using Blackberry phones for five or so years now, and while they are relatively vanilla, boring and unsophisticated except when it comes to rock-solid email delivery, they are all of these things. Seeing a complete dearth of interesting Blackberry models and the increasing capability of Android phones, I finally decided to switch lanes and get one. Enter the Android operating system and the Motorola Droid X.
If you have no familiarity with this device, swing by this page at your earliest convenience. It's a relatively basic look at what this thing does. And without mimicking the campaign advertising this bad boy, the truth is these phone do everything. They handle email well -- but not as well as Blackberry -- and they do everything else as well if not better than the iPhone. I'm only really concerned with email delivery and the ability to access data sites, eg the NYC Department of Buildings (you asked). The Blackberry was woefully underpowered with respect to web access so this alternate path makes lots of sense. But much more importantly, this thing does everything else. It helps you find an address and gives you a 3-d navigation option (turn by turn), whether you're on foot, a bicycle, in a car or even underground. It serves as a book reader -- whether you're a Kindle, Nook or free-form ebook reader -- and can stream iTunes playlists fairly simply. It can find and download recipes, news, sports scores and all kinds of other data -- just like the iPhone -- except it does so quickly and without the shortcomings of a built-in battery or the ineptitude of an underpowered AT&T network. And it does all of this stuff incredibly well.
The downside, of course, is that it offers a large learning curve; however, each day I realize I was foolish to wait as long as I did to jump. If my prediction is right, Blackberry will be relegated to a corporate-only third-bit player in the smartphone market within five years if they don't do something -- quickly. And the fact that Android OS-capable phones have increased sales over the past six months at a staggering 350%, I'd be shocked if they don't overtake the entire market, including that of the iPhone.
Yes, I know the iPhone is landing on Verizon's network in January; yes, I know the iPhone has 750 million different apps, whereas there are only about 100,000 apps for the Android OS. And yes, I know the iPhone is simple. However, the Android is awesome, impresses me each day, and coupled with the software I've installed on mine, is really a solid business tool.
In short: part of not fearing technology is mastering it and using it to your advantage. Not so short: you need to know when to make changes so you're ahead of the curve rather than behind it.
Finally, I've found myself spending more and more time reading World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War -- it's relatively trashy and not going to challenge the reputations of Charles Dickens or Ernest Hemingway or Jackie Collins, but it is solid, well-written, entertaining, engaging, uber-creative and a far better distraction for bus commuting than the typical sounds, odors and sights common in public transportation. As should be obvious, I highly recommend it.
I also recommend "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" -- in both book and film form. I am about to begin reading the book, and the film -- which has a foreign-language (Swedish) soundtrack with English subtitles -- was amazing. It's not an easy viewing -- gritty, intense, and somewhat disturbing -- but it's really memorable and worthwhile. The fact it's being refilmed (in English) means that you should probably see the original version now before the same people who green-lighted "Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo" destroy this masterpiece.
More later -- if not sooner -- if you promise to try and stay awake.
-B-
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
